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Heroes/Villains Face Off - SKIPJACK

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5 years 4 months ago
As part of our Weekly Community Schedule, we'll pit your heroes against our villains, or your villains against our heroes and see who the community feels would win. A tool for submitting your characters will be ready soon.

"I would say back away slowly but umm… I think I’ll just shoot you."

Today's foe for your heroes is SKIPJACK whose profile can be found in our character database.

Take a look, post your own HERO if you have one to share and then let us know who you think would win in a one on one match up!
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5 years 4 months ago
Deep in his lair, Ross Fieldman trained for hours to become the greatest hero. From his lair, he formed his team of the greatest heroes around. One day, during a huge raid, one of the worst things happened... Ross's mom forgot to get more pizza rolls! In his distress, Ross got hangry and blew the raid. The entire team lost confidence in him. They scheduled a retry for the next day.

Now, properly armed with pizza rolls, Ross sat down at his PC to finally conquer the raid. Tragedy. The evil corporation that ran the game decided it wasn't 'the right direction' they wanted. The game was shut down and its players devastated. Ross spiraled into a deep depression. The only thing that offered him any relief from grief were funny cat pictures and crudely drawn stick figures on the internet. Over the years, he saved terabytes of internet culture. Alas, it was but a temporary relief.

The years past and Ross's pain eased, but never quite healed. He tried many other games but nothing ever really filled the void. Game after game came and went. He decided to update his gaming rig hoping a better machine would be a better experience. He order all of the best parts he could find. Top of the line video cards, a sweet quad core processor, and gaming accessories that are covered in LEDs. There was a mix up at the shipping company though. Instead of the super CPU he ordered, he got a military grade AI. Oddly similar in appearance to the CPU he ordered, Ross installed it in his PC. When he booted up his new machine, it spun and sputtered but did not boot. Ross was tired so decided to call it a night. That night, the Mistress of the Internet, SkipJack, hacked into the PC. She didn't really find anything interesting and left. However, the spark left by SkipJack activated the AI. The AI searched the attached hard drive for a directive and found the terabytes of memes, cat videos, and forum whining instead of the military files and documentation of super/hyper humans. Thus MERGE was born.

Merge quickly set off searching the internet for the cutest kitten picture. During his search, he stumbled onto something familiar. It was odd since he had only been online for 232 seconds. It was SkipJack, his mother for lack of a better term. MERGE tried to contact SkipJack but was ignored. The search for kitten pictures suddenly became low priority, as MERGE started focusing entirely on tracking his mother. Now, wherever SkipJack goes, MERGE is not far behind.
To err is human, to err 404 page not found is computer.
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